Whale Rock Reservoir

 

 

 

 

 

Clear seaside panoramic view
near Whale Rock water’s deepest hue
young laughter drifts along the breeze
impassioned plea to no appease

how long for us did time stand still
one summer’s sunset on that hill
my locks around you like a veil
of lapis gaze and hearts assail

but amber blush too soon unfold
for hearts not free to have and hold
as twilight splendor kissed the day
the night held on —but couldn’t stay

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10 Responses to Whale Rock Reservoir

  1. Beth says:

    Christi,

    I’m so happy to visit this beautiful poem again. Your meter and structure are perfection. Love the look of your blog. *hug*

    Beth

  2. Luke Prater says:

    Like yr piece sister, loving yr blog! Way to go! Um, the options for leaving comments for other WP users is set to the same as everyone else – ie we have to fill in name, email, website. There should be option to allow other WP users to comment easily as long as they are signed into their WP. Also I thin WP have just started allowing people to comment with Twitter and Facebook accounts.

  3. This paints such a beautiful picture, Beth. IMHO I wouldn’t change a thing.

  4. Carys says:

    Has Ginny been at the gin? Just teasing Ginny, this is Christi’s blog not Beth’s.

    Some lovely poetic devices in play here Christi and I really appreciate your use of colour – lapis gaze and amber blush – just delish. The cliche police might pitch up for ‘hearts assail’ but I’d plead that they let you off with a stiff warning because I think it works really well in that line. Your meter seems spot on, which is what I’d expect, you really are incredibly good at that. The only changes I’d make would be with regard to capital letters and punctuation but that’s only because it’s the way I like to write and read poetry so it’s a personal preference.

    There are parts of this that are very reminiscent of one of my favourite poems, Shelley’s ‘Love’s Philosophy,’ particularly the last two lines. Gorgeous write.

  5. brian says:

    nice…like the line on locks around you and the end…nice meter..breeze appeaze is nice…

  6. Luke Prater says:

    Meter is strong Christi and end-rhymes good also. Content serves its purpose but not my favourite of yours by a long shot. It’s in Venusian 🙂
    (‘hearts assail’ not quite managing hehe)

  7. Beth Winter says:

    Hello, Christi *hug*

    Your poem was on my crit list tonight. This is an easy one since I’ve commented here before as well as in a contest that I hosted. (Congratulations on the gold 😉

    No suggestions. Thank you for the opportunity to visit this beauty again.

    Beth

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