Humming (Octain)

 

 

 

 

 

Humming (Octain)

whet pirouettes in metered time
slip under crimson linen’s crush
encircle boughs in hungered rush

synched silhouettes in tandem mime
waft soaring essence forming soft
tongued cusp beneath the blushing climb

we writhe in ruffled violet hush
whet pirouettes in metered time

 

cs moon 12-11

The form:

Octain Specifics –

eight lines as two tercets and a couplet, eight syllables per line with the first line repeated (as much as possible) as the last. Meter is iambic or trochaic tetrameter, but fine to just count eight syllables per line for those who prefer that.

Rhyme scheme –

A-b-b

a-c/c-a

b-A

(A = repeated refrain line. c/c refers to line five having midline (internal) rhyme (eg. here/sneer), which is different to the a- and b-rhymes) Octains are a form of poetry devised by Luke Prater

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11 Responses to Humming (Octain)

  1. brian miller says:

    whet pirouettes in metred rhyme…your words dance like a hummingbird…delicious flow through out….

  2. laurie kolp says:

    Yes… I enjoyed it as well, Christie… form, too.

  3. Chazzy Chazz says:

    I love how you bring color and movement to the form and rhymes.

  4. oh christi i love this… was thrilled when i read it is an octain in the title..haven’t read one in a while and just love how you make us feel the humming..

  5. Harish says:

    looks like you defined the movement accurately, good job with the octain, love the line with mime in it.

  6. Becky Kilsby says:

    Beautifully combinations of soft and sharp sounds, colour and movement.. all delivered with effortless rhythm. What a musical Octain Christi.

  7. Ravenblack says:

    Soft and light, nice rhythm maintain throughout. Lovely to read. 🙂

  8. Jebbi says:

    I’ll say it again…heart awe….I can read this over and over…love

  9. C Rose says:

    I love the octain, some props to our friend Luke for his creation…you fill it so well with this piece. A delectable read, really enjoyed it! ~ Rose

  10. Bajanpoet says:

    First time here … and loved the poem AND the explanation of the form 🙂 I read it over several times to see how the form worked, but just loved the piece for the imagery 🙂 sweet!

  11. Emma says:

    Love the musicality of this, Christi the words just dance. whet pirouettes in metered rhyme…fantastic…gotta love the octain.

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