windmills (octain)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Disclaimer:
read at your own risk.  Venusian language shamelessly present, likely to offend Martian sensibilities.

 

untrussed in wonder’s hush content
spring locks around them like a veil
lithe shadows traced in sunlit Braille

the river ripples lagniappe sent
spin windmill’s woodland daffodils
and lumen prisms rapture lent

bare ardent breath and bough inhale
untrussed in wonder’s hush content

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15 Responses to windmills (octain)

  1. Shawna says:

    “lithe shadows traced in sunlit Braille” … Oh wow, this is gorgeous.

    To tell you the truth, I’m not a fan of form. But I didn’t even “feel” it here. The first and final lines are perfect (and all those in between, of course). You really made me feel the embrace of nature and inhale its scent: “bare ardent breath and bough inhale” (exquisite)

    I get the feeling that this could go either way: a couple being held by spring or an individual content in her relationship with nature.

  2. Christi Moon says:

    thanks so much Shawna 🙂 I am glad you were able to see both layers in this and it’s nice to hear that you didn’t notice the form as you were reading. I know that form poetry isn’t for everyone…I do really enjoy writing in form and this one happens to be one of my favorites!

  3. brian miller says:

    i am glad i disregarded the warning….this is a delicious use of language christi…there is a dance to your words that is entrancing…of course i love nature too…smiles.

  4. Joan Roberts says:

    Lovely dance of music & words!

  5. As a Martian, this offends me greatly.

    On a serious note, this is wonderful. The word’s dance along the page.

    Great write.

  6. Natasha says:

    Wonderful presentation, wonderful form. To have the talent to make it read so effortlessly is a testament to the strength of your pen. Much respect for folks who can adhere to form restrictions, while allowing their poetry to speak so beautifully. Huge ups!

  7. kelly says:

    what lovely, musical language! just beautiful.

  8. Beautiful diction and I learned a new to me word, lagniappe (always wonderful); your poem sparkles like a padparadscha sapphire.

  9. Aw, so much to LOVE in this, I couldn’t pick out any one thing. For me, just the sheer beauty and choice of words. Like a balm for the soul, your poetry transports me to a different plane. Always perfection!

  10. Luke Prater says:

    I saw the warning.. I read at my own risk.. hehe… still a fine piece, whatever. Extra marks for ‘lagniappe’

    • Christi Moon says:

      thought this might have you tapping that red pen of yours.

      I did remove the archaic word in L5 that bothered you 🙂

      wow– “extra marks” got a score card have you?

      I’ll recite this one for you sometime and see if I can swing you around to the softer side of things for a while.

  11. Christi Moon says:

    @ all, thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment. sincerely appreciated — C.

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